The Day After The Election

I was very nervous yesterday, then around 11:30 pm I became very angry- which surprised me. I had nightmares all night and I awoke feeling so so sad, depressed, everything but hopeful. I felt so horrible I didn't even go to my spinning class (which I rarely miss).  

I understand that people often speak in hyperbole when we talk about our feelings in regards to politics but I just wanted to record some of my feelings about why I feel so hopeless.

Doug and I have put ourselves through his medical school and residency. Seven years post-graduate. We have yet to receive real income. We know what it is like to wonder if we'll be able to pay rent, to be able to afford groceries for the month/week/day. We've sprinted down to the bank before it closes, dumping out all our coins hoping it would be enough to avoid overdrafts. We've been wearing other peoples' clothes for seven years now (and we are so grateful for them). 

We have done all this happily because we are in the pursuit of a dream, we have the hopes to be successful someday, and to be able to pay back our student loans. We have hopes to be able to help others as they struggle in pursuit of their success, as many have done for us in dire circumstances- unbeknownst to them. We don't want to be ridiculously wealthy but to be able to support ourselves and to be able to support ourselves through retirement. Sounds like a standard American dream, right?

And here's when my hyperbole comes in:

According to my understanding of Obama's tax plan and ideals: all our hard work is in vain. Apparently, those of us who are willing to sacrifice in order to be successful are selfish and must take care of others who are less willing/able. We need to work harder to take care of them. Wait, seriously?

Now, a quick tangent. Many comments (especially in NYC) have been made to us that we came from wealth and that we are lucky to have had parents put us through school and that others don't have the same opportunities as we do to go to medical school. Sorry people, thats BULL. CRAP! Yes, we did come from "normal" families where parents love their children but as I said before, we have taken on all the debt in pursuit of this dream. And as far as I'm concerned Doug is totally proof that anyone can go to medical school (he may not like that I'm going to spell it out but I think its important). Doug barely passed High School- like had to sweep the parking lot the day of graduation in order to pass. He didn't have a bright future as far as school goes, not many goals, no hopes of a real college education. He turned his life around, worked hard at a community college to get into University and then worked his tail off, while raising a family, to get himself into and through Medical school. 

EVERYONE has the same opportunity as Doug did!

But some people are lazy and want to just be handed everything! And Obama is enabling those type of people. I am all for helping the poor, assisting those less fortunate but I'm so sick that we need to work harder to make the lives of those who don't work more comfortable.

While living in NYC, Doug and I accepted Medicaid and embarrassingly, we were on Food Stamps for two years. We were faced with a choice, we did not have enough money for food so we decided to accept Food Stamps. It was a blessing to us at a time of need, and we were happy to go off when we no longer needed it. I'm saying this because I believe that social services are an important part of government, to assist people through times of need. Not to sustain through life.

And now according to what I hear about Obamacare (lets be honest who really knows what it even says), we may never be able to pay off our debts and make a living.

I'm just in awe. I really hope there is more hope for our future, for my children, and for our country. I hope that these are just feelings of a girl whose mad that her guy didn't win. 

I hope.