Lately, I have no idea how to be a mom. I hear of these mothers who have a schedule down and wonder what they're talking about. As soon as I feel like I'm getting any regularity in my schedule, something changes. Like Paige ALWAYS crying and not wanting to take longer than 15 minute naps. And Leah, oh Leah. We worked so hard to train her with going to bed, but you would never guess she's ever been trained lately. Anyway, I should stop complaining because what mother doesn't have hard days right?
So here's what makes all of these parenting trials easier. The "Expert." I don't know if a lot of people experience this but I'm so sick of it. What I am referring to are the people who think they know everything because they had children, or have a niece, or a girlfriend has a kid, etc. Of course I like advice and I'll gladly take it but I'd prefer that you spend a little more time with MY children rather than simply look at them once and think you know exactly what their needs are. I have come so close to flipping out when people tell me what's wrong. Apparently whenever Paige cries, she's hungry. Sometimes I want to respond with something like, "Wow- I never thought of feeding her! Thanks so much. Next time I have a problem, I sure hope your around."
The other day Leah was throwing a tantrum in the city and a lady came running up to me in broken English saying, "She burning." (from the sun). First of all- sunscreen really does work. Secondly, who screams in the act of being sunburned. But what do I know...she's the expert.
Lastly, since when did parenting become worthy of a scowl or what I used to call "crusties?" For heaven sakes people, it's ok to smile and if you can't muster up a smile...MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!
Phew...thanks for listening.
17 comments:
While I don't have any first-hand knowledge of what you're going through, I can certainly sympathize with it! The "expert" is actually something I'm really nervous about because I already feel inadequate enough as it is and I haven't even given birth yet. So I'm sorry you've been bombarded by these experts lately and hope they'll give you a break and the benefit of the doubt. Love you! Ann
Oh my! The "expert". I agree with you! I wish people would just smile at me and let ME be the MOM.
I'm sorry things have been so rough lately!
amen! it drives me absolutely crazy. i have had all of those things happen to me. and, for some reason i hate it when random people tell me that calvin doesn't have any shoes on or that he really needs to wear some socks. first of all, i realize he's not wearing any shoes because 2 minutes after i put them on his feet he pulls them right off. and socks? really? it's 90 degress out there!
Amber, I'm sure your going to hate me for saying this, but that made me laugh out loud! Clearly I don't have childern or I would be right there with you. When I was in New York I did wonder how anyone raises childern in the city! I say mad props to you! I'm sure things will get better sooner or later!
The sunburn story made my laugh so hard. People are too funny. Weirdo!! I hope the life gets easier. People at church always try to help when I have my hands full but of course neither child wants them to hold them. People mean well but just let us be and our kids will survive...even if they are starving and burning in the sun - they'll survive.I
oh Amber, I love you. Don't worry, you are a fantastic mother, and I also love that you don't take crap from people! Way to go!!
Maybe when Paige is crying, you should check her diaper? ha ha...just kidding! No expertise here!
Oh I hear you! I hate when people make me feel like I'm a bad mother. You really do know your children best. Rachel was queen of those catnaps too. SOOOO aggravating!
Clearly, others know best since they are giving advice with a sound mind. You, on the other hand are clinically insane 95% of the time as a full-time parent. I would listen to the advice of everyone and heed it all very closely.
GIVE 'EM HECK, AMBER! :)
That was so funny because I think every mother has been there, except the ones who are giving advise, they raised their kids right! I for sure think that when Leah started her tantrum if you would have put her in shade, rubbed sunscreen on her (again), put ice packs around her, and started a mister system she totally would have stoped her tantrum. I think thats all she wanted!
Yeah, I hate "the expert" advice that people love to give about having/raising kids... it's very annoying. You are doing a great job and don't let anything anyone says bring you down.... you are awesome, and by the way, we DID think about you all the time at the reunion!!!! Seriously, it wasn't the same without you! WE MISSED YOU! Thank goodness we at least got to see you at the wedding or it would have been MEGA sad!!
AMEN SISTER!!! I use to make up stories to make the person feel stupid for their advise. Ask Natasha she will tell you some of my lovely stories.
I hear you girl! I'll have to print out that blog posting and read it for a good laugh when the "experts" in my next of the woods start in on advice. You're the best! Tell Doogie hi!
Julia
Luckily for me I was broken of my motherly expectations for myself early on in motherhood and realized that it is all about taking it one step at a time and that if you still wake up in the morning after your kid has broken down with a blood curdling tantrum in public because you just took something away from them or some other inevitable passage of motherhood you are doing ok.
So anyone who thinks that they know everything about mothering must not have children or they aren't very observant because there is not a cure all for every child's personality!
i feel your pain sistah! i think "losing it" once or twice on a person will make you feel better. Set your niceness aside just once and let them have it. you can always repent later :)
We're sailing the same boat! Only my "expert" lives a few houses away and I am struggling with being neighborly to the elderly lady... without jumping down her throat. Funny thing is, she never raised children of her own! For example:
She freaked out the day she saw my boys out on the driveway eating popsicles because they were dripping and looked sticky. She told me ants were going to attack them.
Does that help a little?
Awesome! I saw a link to this blog from the blog of a friend of mine whose blog I just checked out for the first time . . . as I sit here with my 2 year old eating cereal with his shorts off, and me checking out blogs to try and avoid going to the grocery store to buy stuff for my 2 month old's blessing. After a week of trying to get everything ready, I was feeling sad that I'm the "only one" who couldn't make the schedule thing work with all the things to do . . . and I found this and laughed outloud. Good to see you're doing great Amber, your family is adorable, and that triathalon sounds awesome! And thanks for being the inspiration I needed to get to the store - after I change two diapers of course. (Yes, my posting name needs to be changed, it's a default, but at least you know who I am.)
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