Last night I laid down on my bed to just get off my feet. It was a long day (its been a long week/months) and apparently I was exhausted. I fell asleep in my clothes, without brushing my teeth (I hate that)! Brigham still doesn't sleep through the night because I just don't have the heart to listen to his cry.
Around 12:30, I woke up to some noise and saw that a light was on in the hall. I was so confused because Doug was asleep next to me.
I walked out my room and saw that it was Brigham's light that was on...again, confused. I opened the door to find Paige holding Brigham trying to get him to calm down. In my delirium, I was probably too stern in asking what she was doing (but had I used my brain I wouldn't have had to ask). She starting crying, probably thinking I was angry. She said that Brigham was crying so hard and she didn't know why I wasn't in there with him so she tried to get him back to sleep. Again probably sounding too stern, I told her next time just wake me up. I rubbed her back a bit, we got a drink, and I helped her back to bed.
As I was feeding Brigham, I suddenly felt a rush of emotions. I was so sad that I wasn't coherent enough to show my love and appreciation for Paige. That she got out of bed, thought about me enough to NOT wake me up, thought about everyone else to close the door and try to get Brigham back to sleep. What a sweet girl! I really dislike that my responses in parenthood are too often reactionary, under-thought, and lack love.
I'm so very grateful that perfection isn't the expectation.
1 comment:
You have taken the words right out of my mouth. I have so often reacted to situations and then realized what was really going on and regretted my reaction.
Paige is so cute that she would do that. She is going to be a great big sister, then babysitter, and then someday a mom!!
Thanks for sharing!!
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