Ramblings of a mother...

As a teenager, I remember thinking that the adults had it easy. They didn't have go through any trials or obstacles. The world wasn't constantly telling them how to live their lives or how to dress. You know, all the selfish thoughts of an adolescent. Well, turns out I was wrong...really wrong.

Whenever I told my Dad that he was smart, he'd just say something like, "only because I'm learning that we're all just stupid." I didn't understand that but I'm slowly beginning to. 

With each child, I'm realizing more and more that I can pretend to know something about parenting but then I'm thrown for a loop with the next child and start from scratch, feeling the helplessness of a first-time parent all over again.  I find myself giving advice to friends and being so annoyed with myself because each child is different. Parents are different. Who am I to give advice?As one of my brothers-in-law said, "you should never should on someone." I like that.

One of the biggest surprises to me in my motherhood has been my spirituality. I thought my parents and young women leaders were pushing me, so that I had my testimony secured for adulthood. Well adulthood has come and I find this to be one of the most difficult aspects of my personal life to keep constant, it ebbs and flows.  

I recently recommitted (as I too often have to do) to daily scripture reading, and for the first week I found myself to be more angry after my scripture study than before. I was filled with so much anger at my kids for the many interruptions, that it just swept the spirit away. Its too easy to quit and I'm not going this time!

The other day, I had put dinner in the oven and went upstairs to get ready for young women's. I had the thought pop into my head, "Sydney is probably going to open the oven." I decided not to ignore the thought and ran downstairs to find Syd with the oven door pulled down. Knowing her, she, who watches how I do things, would put the oven mit on and reach for the pan, but then lean on the door with the other hand. I brought her upstairs with me and felt very grateful that I am in tune to the promptings of the spirit. Had I ignored these thoughts, I'm sure our little Syd would have burnt her hands for a second time in her short life.

From this simple experience, I was reminded that as long as I am trying to do all I can, 

I am entitled to the blessings and inspiration of the Holy Ghost. A tool that I need to turn to more often when I'm feeling stumped as a mother. How grateful I am to know that the Savior loves us, and recognizes our efforts and will help us where we are lacking.